I believe that I am an immortal being…

I believe that I am an immortal being that has lived as many lives as there are grains of sand on the beach.

Why is such a belief so difficult to hold in this modern world? Because the facts just don’t support such a belief. There’s too much suffering, too much human aberration, too much religion.

Let’s just assume for a moment that what I believe is in fact an incontravertable truth. Okay, why then, with all the science and technology that we have, all the “advancement” in psychology and mental therapies, has the spirit not been detected? Why is it not a simple fact that can be proven in any high school lab? If its true, if its a fact, why can’t it be proven, time in and time out?

It can’t, and it probably never will. Science deals only in what can be sensed, measured and experienced. It deals in quantities and distances, forces and vectors in space and time. What then is a spirit made of? It has been looked for and not found. There’s plenty of it about if it exists, so it should be easy to find.

No, the spirit cannot be found because it does not lie within the bounds of Science. Science has boundaries. The error that Science makes, the error that, indeed, puts Science itself onto the path a religion, gives it the flavor of dogma, is that if something does not exist within the bounds of Science, then Science assumes it does not and cannot exist. How arrogant is that?

Imagine if you were an opera singer raised on an isolated island that knew no other form of music than opera. It would be natural for you to assume that no other form of music existed. That’s what you were taught and the only acceptable belief to hold was that it was impossible for any other form of music to exist. Imagine then if you were shown a different type of music by a visiting tribesman. Imagine hearing the music and saying, “Nope, that can’t possibly be music, doesn’t exist, and although I can’t explain it, what I am hearing can only be explained by opera music and it must be an extremely complex and rare form of opera phenomena that we don’t fully understand yet.” You then call the tribesman a crackpot and send him on his way.

So, the error of Science is not in its inability to find the spirit. Maybe it can’t be found with scientific technique. No, the error in Science is the arrogant-beyond-belief religious belief that the only knowledge available, the only available route to knowledge is through the Scientific Method.

Scientific Method gets the job done when dealing with the physical universe. But what if the spirit did exist, but it was not part of the physical universe? How could that be? If something exists, yet is not matter, space, energy or time, what else could it be? How can something exist yet have no quantity or measurement? How can something exist and have a location in space and think and postulate and perceive, and yet not exist in the physical universe?

And finally, if this thing called a spirit does exist, and if I am one of them, how come I have a body and need to speak and eat and have sex and sleep and all those other things that bodies do? How come I’m so deeply unmeshed in all of that and still call myself an immortal being? And finally, if I am an immortal being that has lived as many lives as there are grains of sand in the beach, how come I don’t remember those lives?

Who’s to say I don’t? But then again, I could be suffering from Multiple Lives Syndrome or some other made up disease made up by a bunch of nutbags who themselves suffer from Obsessive Disease Naming Syndrome and who call themselves mental health practitioners. (They do happen to be getting very rich though.)

P U R P O S E

So what is purpose? Purpose is the end game, the objective that we work towards, the reason we do what we do. If we have a purpose in life it gives what we do meaning.

My purpose is TO SUCCESSFULLY DESCRIBE AND UNDERSTAND, IN MATHEMATICAL TERMS, THE INFINITE ZERO FROM WHICH THE UNIVERSE HAS COME. See About. Is this a purpose that will die when my body dies? No, it is a purpose that is mine. I still have time this lifetime to get some degrees and a doctorate and call myself an expert in some field or another. I want to do this. It is my goal. But what happens when I die?

Hopefully, as I believe it will, the aware thinking center of perception that I call me will continue to exist after body death. But at that point everything I have achieved with the body and identity I now have will have ceased to exist. The certificates and diplomas will all say My Name. But I will no longer have that name. That name will be attached to a photograph on a licence. But the body of that image will slowly decay into dust. All of that effort, all of the effort I plan for myself over the next 40 years will have come to nothing when the body dies.

So the whole point I want to make is this. I don’t care that what I want to do is a pipe dream. I don’t care that it is a task of genius and not of ordinary, perhaps less than ordinary, stock. I don’t care that many would say such a task is unknowable and not within the bounds of knowledge and therefore not knowable. I don’t care that is takes me so long to do anything, how can I expect to do that. I don’t care that it is a stupid thing for a man with responsibilities and family to be spending his life on. I don’t care that a part of my thinks that I’m just full of shit. And I don’t care that just about everyone else will to.

The first thing I want to explore is the paradox between what I know to be true and what I experience on a day to day basis. How come I’m a fucking bus driver and not a respectable, funky, well paid, mysterious professor having affairs with lost soul graduates? How come I do very little on a day to day basis, yet have the ambition of an army of men?

These and more are some of the questions I want to explore. God help me…

Heart and Soul

The heart and soul of this blog is to document an absurd, preposterous journey.

Imagine you knew this guy. He was a quite kind of fellow, obviously working class, not the smoothest diamond in the case and a big hulking fellow. When you saw him you thought of an out of shape footballer. He was a little rude, uncommunicative, immature, not showing a lot of apparent interest in others, but you suspected maybe he was just a little shy. He seemed to read and study a lot, but was not apparently qualified in anything much. He was 42 and drove a bus. Then you find out that he wanted to be a computer scientist and cosmologist. Not that he’d tell you that. But somehow you find out.

Do you laugh? Do you pity his folly? Do you wonder as he struggled with high school mathematics and popular science texts, if perhaps he was a little too old and slow to achieve such qualifications?

I would.

I’d think this guy was terminally pointless and sad. Where will he end up? What about all the lost income opportunities as he spends his money on adult education? What about his frustrated wife who wonders why he can’t do better, why he never seems to get anything done? How long will it be before he leaves her for some 22 year old lost soul. What about the fact that he doesn’t go out or socialize with friends?

What would you make of this guy?

I’d think I’d met my soulmate. If he were a girl I’d marry him on the spot.

An introduction…

Despite the mention of physics in the title of this blog, I do not have any physics degrees. At the time of this writing all I hold is a Diploma in Architectural Technology and an Advanced Certificate in Design Computing. I don’t work as a draftsman or architect as you might expect.

Oh no, no. That would be too successful.

I drive buses for the city, a job I am getting used to. In fact, my employer is putting me through a Certificate III in Public Transportation, or some such thing. So, in a way I am getting more qualified just by driving a bus around the city.